Today’s guest post comes to us from Wendy Satin Rapaport and Sanda Neshin Bernstein, authors of the newly published book Friendship Matters. I asked them to respond to this question: How do we make time for friendship when all of us are SO BUSY?!? I know I always feel like there just isn’t enough time to do girls’ nights out or even connect online. Read on to discover Wendy’s and Sanda’s tips!
WENDY: So, Sandy, we’re being asked to blog about friendship. Since our newly published book Friendship Matters deals with all aspects of developing a maintaining a friendship, I think we’re in a good position to offer tips for making time for friendships in today’s busy lifestyles.
SANDY: Yes, especially because we so “get it.” We had to learn through our own friendship. And I think we did master making time for our friendship, consciously as well as unconsciously.
WENDY: Of course you would say that, you’re an analyst.
SANDY: No. Well, maybe yes. We first experienced how valuable our friendship was and then prioritized it because it felt so satisfying and was extraordinarily helpful in all our relationships. We began to see our friendship as a conscious laboratory which allowed us to become aware of and think through situations.
WENDY: Yes, and the other thing we did was to make it a habit, something regular. In our own lives, we have a commitment to speak every Tuesday morning from 9 to 9:30. (Go ahead and test us, the call will go into voice mail.)
SANDY: That’s one tip we want to offer to our readers: make the priority and follow through with regularity, letting nothing interfere.
WENDY: And if “Just do it” doesn’t work, our book offers tools to figure out why and to make it happen.
SANDY: Yes! And at the same time it’s a reminder of the superpower potential of friendship for everyone. A good friend can make you happier and healthier. Seriously, the research bears it out. Just as we all recognize the importance of exercise, of eating well, of meditating, somehow we don’t put friendship in that category. And we should.
WENDY: You know, when I look back over our book, my first thought is that it’s our love letter to one another. It’s a celebration of our friendship.
In our book, in our offices as psychologists, (and we think it should be in the common parlance of our interactions in life), we teach about emotional literacy: the awareness of what hurts or makes us angry…and once we know, the capacity of self-regulation.
SANDY: We want to emphasize that it is a “choice” in life to stay open minded and open hearted. We clarify a healthier way to think and feel, reminding you – for example -to challenge assumptions, give and take effective criticism, respect and learn from differences, and cultivate forgiveness.
Thanks Wendy and Sandy! I can’t wait to read your book!
Learn more about the book here: