Getting Old As a Family of Two

I was kind of shocked when I looked at the photo above in my camera. I had a new phone stand and shutter remote that I was playing with and snapped this image intending to show off my new Stitch Fix skirt.

“Uh, holy crap, I look old!” I thought. I decided I was definitely NOT going to post that on Instagram #OOTD. I wondered if it was the lighting or the fact that I didn’t use the “beauty face” feature or if I really do look like that.

I showed it to DH when he got home and he laughed. “You look about 60!” he said. “The lighting makes your hair look gray.”

To make matters worse, later that week when I met up with my mother in law at the Color Run wearing a bandanna covering my hair and sunglasses, she asked my sister in law’s friend if I was the friend’s mother in law. I gasped. My sister in law said, “Um, it’s your daughter in law!”

“Oh, I didn’t recognize you with your hat and sunglasses,” my mother in law said. “And have you lost more weight? That’s why I didn’t recognize you. Aren’t you about done losing weight?”

I was speechless. Maybe weight loss really HAS made me look 20+ years older. I guess it’s time to actually do a skin care routine.

Speaking of 20 years, my 20 year high school class reunion is this summer. Friends my age laugh about finding more and more gray hair. (My hairdresser says she hasn’t found any yet, although since it’s colored it would probably be hard to tell). We’ve noticed that our friends’ kids are more self-sufficient and that they are able to go out with us from time to time. Some of them are driving and dating. I suppose it’s only a few more years and we will start getting graduation and wedding invitations. Where on earth does the time go?

Because DH and I are childfree, we’ve always related more to empty nesters. We naturally gravitate towards the older folks in our running group who seem more relaxed than the young parents texting their kids or spouses giving them an update on when they’ll be home. Instead of making small talk about schools and the cost of braces, we’re talking about trips and the pros and cons of getting an RV or a vacation home.

Still, the thought of actually BEING sixty and not just relating to that stage of life is a bit disconcerting. I think when you don’t have kids it’s easy to just let time slip by without noticing it. A friend of mine who is my age is having a baby in a few months. Part of me says, “there’s still time! You can still adopt!” But the other part of me says, just enjoy nieces and nephews and friends’ kids. And although weight loss has probably made it possible for me to have my own biological child, the thought of having a child at 39 or 40 is just mind boggling.

So without kids, what is there to do in the next 20 years of our life between our 40s and 60s? That’s a question I am seriously pondering these days. What do I want to be when I grow up? DH is training for an iron man next year.  We’re training for a marathon this year. There is a whole world to explore. I suppose we’ll continue doing what we’ve always done. Find new things to do and live life to its fullest.

P.S. I’ve decided to discontinue Sunday Coffee, although Sundays will still have a “family and faith” theme. Just part of developing the new and improved Wholistic Woman!