Finding our Tuesday People

Welcome to Part 3 of the Simply Tuesday book club! The first week we were invited to make a bench, to sit down and acknowledge our smallness. Last week we were encouraged to embrace our Tuesday work.This week, we were supposed to find our Tuesday people. I wasn’t looking forward to this week.

If I’m being perfectly honest, I feel as though I don’t have the kinds of friendships that you usually hear about or see on TV. I lost touch with my best friends from gradeschool, who were my friends in high school, and I lost most of my adult friends when I went through a divorce. For the past 10 years I’ve mostly adopted DH’s friends, or developed what I would call really close acquaintances. My best friend is the wife of DH’s best friend. So what would I learn in this section of the book?

In chapter 7, Community & Competition: Finding Safe Places to Feel Insecure, Emily P. Freeman seems to understand. She understands what it’s like to start over, and to feel the pressure to be perfect in the realm of friendship. I think that Christian culture puts a lot of emphasis on having a lot of friends.

I have this idea that I need to find twenty people who understand me, and I need to find them now! But then I realize one or two really are enough. And so my longing for connection in my work led to our little group of three we casually call The Artists Circle, women journeying together every other month-ish.

Oh, how I love that idea! The acquaintances I’d most like to spend more time with are, coincidentally, also creatives. Freeman has given me a good idea to put on my Evernote list.

In chapter 8, Children & Grown-ups: An Invitation to Move Downward with Gladness, Freeman talks about how it’s important to let go of our agendas, competition, and planning. She encourages us to make connections and form crayon circles without being so particular about coloring within the lines. I love that imagery!

Finally, in chapter 9, Honesty & Maturity: Learning to Relate in the Power of the Spirit, she talks about being honest and mature. I thought I was doing well in this area. It takes a lot to offend me, I’m really easy going, and I’m willing to go with the flow and give people the benefit of the doubt. However, she really emphasizes the honest part. I realized when reading this that I have been conditioned to be Midwest Nice, which is where you kind of avoid conflict and treat everyone nice on the surface. It goes along with pretending everything is OK. Of course it’s not cool to hurt people’s feelings on purpose, but it’s also important to not stifle one’s own feelings either. Such a balance!

I hope that we delve into this topic a bit more with the author this week.

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